I wrote this on the way back from my sister’s funeral.

Today, it is really hitting me hard.  I miss my sister so much.  She was so much more than my older sister.  She was my confidant and best friend.  She believed in me when others did not.  Always keeping her eye out on my heart and who I was letting in my life.

She was an amazing lady.  I miss her very much.

Firefighter 54
by Michael Romani

..Firefighter 54, firefighter 54
This is Ashland Fire Department
Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54
This is Ashland Fire Department
Please respond....

Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54 
This is Ashland Fire Department
The speaker squawked in the background
Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54

Firefighter 54 is no longer responding
Thank you for your service Firefighter 54
We pray that your final journey is peaceful
And we ask Our Father in Heaven to prepare you a place

The early morning drizzle came down slowly
Like angel tears saddened at this moment
Funny, my brother in law and I had joked at the wake
That Michele would love it to rain just a little
All of this so much to take in, all of this moving me
I kept waiting for this to be a joke just for a moment
Trying to be strong sometimes it's harder than others to fake
This part, the hard part, laying you in the ground.. the middle part

I drove 14 hours to say goodbye to my greatest hero
My sister, my best friend, the one who knew me best of all
Into a community of sincere small town people
I learned in an instant how much they had brought to her
All the big town-ness she had left behind was zero
Compared to the warmth and truth, it was nothing at all
Of these people I suddenly met gathered under this steeple
They had sincerely embraced her in love, they had loved her

..Firefighter 54, firefighter 54
This is Ashland Fire Department
Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54
This is Ashland Fire Department
Please respond....

Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54 
This is Ashland Fire Department
The speaker squawked in the background
Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54

Firefighter 54 is no longer responding
Thank you for your service Firefighter 54
Thank you for your service
We pray our Father in Heaven to prepare your final place

Old Blue stood there quietly taking it all in
Where was his buddy, it was long since the last ride
I patted his long face and stared nose to nose
You miss her too don't you old guy, I know
He had rode with her on many a trail until the very end
All that cattle cutting and barrel racing was a joyful pride
I wonder old guy do you .. do you know?
Someday I know you'll be in heaven riding again, soul to soul

She had started a brilliantly moving modeling career
But as time went on she found it was not what she wanted
She chose to move to the middle of the middle of nowhere
And it was there that she found herself to the fullest degree
The love she had needed was mysteriously found there
Trading in the high life and Gucci for a distinct prairie bonnet
From the tales of admiration I heard, hers was a life without fear
What she could she always found a way to share with me

..Firefighter 54, firefighter 54
This is Ashland Fire Department
Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54
This is Ashland Fire Department
Please respond....

Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54 
This is Ashland Fire Department
The speaker squawked in the background
Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54

Firefighter 54 is no longer responding
Thank you for your service Firefighter 54
Thank you for your service
We pray our Father in Heaven to prepare your final place

I left town in a muddled haze of happiness marbled in sadness
Doing my best cowboy, too tough to cry or even whimper why
I had 14 hours more set before me and drive it I must
With a mind distracted and lost up in photographic memories
The irony of it all felt like only so much jaded madness
How it is that I with my fatal flaws live while she had to die
Sadly true, those sweet photos had brought diamonds and rust
Such are the feelings stirred up with a lifetime of memories

I thought of the streets lined with people peering from doorway
Firemen from the neighboring counties saluting as we drove by
The few stories shared by the people who loved and cared
And I knew at least that my sister had lived just as she wanted
There is little more that a brother could want in any way
And it is selfish of me, so selfish, to hang my head and cry
When I know that she is out of pain and lived as she'd dared
Except for more life, this was all I should have ever wanted

..Firefighter 54, firefighter 54
This is Ashland Fire Department
Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54
This is Ashland Fire Department
Please respond....

Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54 
This is Ashland Fire Department
The speaker squawked in the background
Firefighter 54, Firefighter 54

Firefighter 54 is no longer responding
Thank you for your service Firefighter 54
Thank you for your service
Go ahead cowgirl, ride your ride to rest in your final peace

(c) August 10, 2014 Michael Romani
All Rights Reserved

Today, I feel so very completely lost.