Based in part on a life lived between worlds and still finding hope and dreaming dreams…

Even To This Day
by Michael Romani

It was a dark night
The darkest night
And you were crying
And I was crying
And it was raining
Like the whole world was crying
Not to sound as if complaining
But, I would be lying
If I didn't say
That every day feels like I'm dying
Even to this day

I know that I should have listened
AS the rain poured down and glistened
I know that I wish I had found my voice
And that I had felt as if I had a choice
Though I always live as though free willed
That night I felt totally compelled
By loans and mortgages to be paid
I know that I should have stayed
But I didn't, I would push on through
Because a man has to do what a man must do
But, if I had stayed and a different hand given
I would not be on my knees wishing to be forgiven

Here I kneel as if lost in madness
Swept under and overwhelmed by sadness
They say the smoke killed her first
But thoughts of the flames drives my thirst
A thirst never quenched by bottle's end
With each new bottle seeming as a new friend
I pray to God for mercy or this to end
Never sure which would be better and depend
On your eyes to see in your kindness
Having drunk myself half to blindness
Sometimes you cannot change things that come
So, I feel better off drunk until numb

Everyday I look deep into my dark box
Chained within my soul by these locks
Wishing that I might be some kind of better man
Seeking after some way to understand
But as I look into the depths of my soul
I only see a man who has lost control
That is to say without you here by me
Holding out your hand with thoughts so holy
How is it, Lord, that no matter where I've gone
You still offer your cross for me to lean on
No matter how far or wide that I've been driven
It's by your love that I am still forgiven

(c) May 19, 2019  Michael Romani
All Rights Reserved