No News, Anxiety Blues
by Michael Doyle

Even though they tell me
That I wear victory's crown
They'll never totally sell me
That I should not feel down

Yes, I survived and stand alive
I can't say the same for friends
Patriotic to the point of deep dive
Now, I just want memories to end

To some, this might seem quizzical
Others will seek out the metaphysical
I just want to sleep one good night
Without waking in cold sweat and fright

Joy and sorrow do combat in my soul
While my face says I'm in full control
There's much to be said in Jungian analysis
But I wake sometimes in total paralysis

Unable to move as I stare at the wall
Lost deep within things I refuse to recall
Decisions that in a moment needed made
No black and white; all is blended shade

Though I'm safe from any major calamity
It's not really news. I'm lost in anxiety
Second-guessing choices that I have made
Most of which were above my pay grade

To some, this might seem quizzical
Others will seek out the metaphysical
I just want to sleep one good night
Without waking in cold sweat and fright

Joy and sorrow do combat in my soul
While my face says I'm in full control
I shake inside the bits of Jungian analysis
And I wake sometimes in total paralysis

It's the no news, anxiety's worse blues
It comes across in a thousand different hues
None of which quite look right in my eyes
With no time for fear, yet, I recognize

The thought that maybe I made the wrong choices
I find it hard to move or to find my voice
Carrying on to carry on, It had to be done
Those dead were someone else's beloved sons

To some, this might seem a little quizzical
Others will pray to something metaphysical
I just want to sleep one more good night
Without soul shaking, sweating with fright

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow do combat in my soul
My straight face says I remain in full control
While I'm quaking inside, processing Jungian analysis
Feeling dread inside, I wake in total paralysis

If the devil is the dancer across my worst fears
Can someone tell me, does it disappear with years
If God is the answer, why don't my prayers find a cure
Is there anything able to offer something to assure

That I won't lose it, thinking on decisions I made
I feel my brightness fading hard into the grim shade
Then I look at my daughters. and remember what is love
When they aren't looking, I pray to that God above 

        ... and I pray for forgiveness
              ... Having never known this
                     .. but needing to feel love
        ... Sometimes I even question God above

(c) June 15, 2024    Michael Doyle
All Rights Reserved