Nervous Man In A Four Dollar Room

Dathuil - Gallery of Art - Singing to the Mirror

Nervous Man In A Four Dollar Room
by Michael Romani

Jackie Rhoades stumbles into age thirty four
Like a blemished dot behind the cheap hotel's door
While some men leave a mark of fragmentary existence
All Jackie has are traces of his failed persistence
An undistinguished sojourn of a discolored blemish
His most formidable opponent doesn't accept this finish

The Twilight Zone is on the outskirts of reality
As his mirrored self argues for a higher morality
He's a nervous man in a four dollar room
Unwilling to accept this as his final doom
Nervously biting his nails behind the room's door
He knows he has to push for that something more

Struggling hard for life and filled with anxiety
He pushes himself like a man squeezed by brutality
He's offered a move up from a criminal five and dime
To the sort of job where he end up doing real time
An old man with a backbone in a broken down bar
Needs dead and sprawled out cause he's gone too far

His hooligan boss tries to beat him into bravery
But, it's clear to see this only a worse knavery
The door closes and he's alone except for his fear
That and the thirty eight just laying there
Arguing with himself in his own mirrored reflection
Trying to move beyond his fear and it's biting direction

Roasting to death in that untidy four dollar room
The best it has to offer is simply gloom
Nail biting and weak, he knows its no thriller
But now his miserable life is making him a killer
Staring deep into his own eyes he states his fate
Wishing he could trade it all in but it's too late

Too late until the man in the mirror speaks
Starting to think he's lost his mind - he freaks
He's him and the reflection is simply he
He crumples inwardly snarled into the absurdity
A long time ago he might have had confidence
Today, he's turn into a mouse of diffidence

Arguing hard with each piece of surrounding glass
His better part will not allow him to take a pass
Gun by his bedside, he tries to catch some sleep
Talking to himself, he realizes he's in too deep
An argument revolves around his life without chance
As the two sides of his conscience spiral in this dance

His conscience speaks loud recalling his checkered past
All the failed attempts for acceptance that didn't last
His better part talks about making some better choices
That he should listen to himself instead of foolish voices
So many times his life had tried hard to set him to right
But like a cowardly blight, his weakness refused to fight

All of life's lost chances and all the love once lost
The mirrored reflection recounts all of the costs
His better part wants out to be the one to call the shots
To win for once all that the coward has forgot
Bad choices are the door he keeps opening to nowhere
His better voice speaks in the truth that he declares

Twist of fate in a revolving mirror and life has its change
The face he wears now is the same but flashes a little strange
A new strength is what he has recently, finally found
The mirrored reflection has reached out and taken this round
Checking out from this ugly room of this sordid life
Johnny is finally rising above it all and away from this strife

Exit from a wishful thinker made out of shattered glass
For once, he will make his way and make his own pass
Reaching for all that he might want to finally be
Bringing his best to shape his new fangled reality
On his way to be part of that company of self made men
All of that bad will now become only a time remembered when

(c) February 3, 2018  Michael Romani
All Rights Reserved

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About alohapromisesforever

Writer, poet, musician, surfer, father of two princesses.
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