Between Asleep and Awake
by Michael Doyle

Between asleep and awake
Is the recounting of
Every single mistake

Some deeper than others
Some of hate, some of love
All of which are heartbreak

They sent me to fight in war
I went out a well-trained beast
And yet somehow I wish for more

In a first utterance of tears
I feel the struggle in my deep
A darkness of repressed years

In this stagger of deep harshness
All of the colors of my darkness
Seep through despite my fight

They sent me out to fight war
Wanting a hero but getting me instead
I can't escape this demon in my head

Am I to ever move past my brokenness
Sometimes hid behind outspokenness
Brasher than that fear that is my soul

The bassline taps out brutal staccato
With echoed memories shading the blow
Of morning coming too soon for the wounded

Those who have not been but simply sent
Are not inclined to sorrow or to repent
But I regret the shadows of my mind

As these spill out in the words that matter
The detached feelings that come to shatter
The loving bonds that withstand the pain

Of feelings that are overwhelming me
I seek only understanding not sympathy
As I continue to work on what I have become

I look toward you with tears in my eyes
As I lock myself off after breaking my disguise
And I pray that you will stay...and be patient

(c) October 19, 2022  Michael Doyle
All Rights Reserved